Bad Sunday: Queen Eliza & Twilight

It’s that time of week.  Bad Sunday.  Where I write of bad things I have come across during the week.  Are you wondering where last weeks Bad Sunday got to?  Tough luck, because this tradition starts today.  I don’t want you to think that I’m a bad, negative person so I will start Good Fridays too (you see what I did there?)

BAD PEOPLE

Twilight Fangirls
You simple, rabid little girls.  Twilight is bad Literature.  Indeed, enjoy it all you want, even I did a little, but accept that it’s bad writing, please.  No.  Nobody cares that the film had Edward and Bella have the conversation about vampires in the forest instead of the car.  We don’t give a fuck.  We are rational human beings.  Someday, somehow, you too, will be rational.  We hope for you.  We really do.

Shockingly Terrible Books

Needless to say, I read a lot, and I have a few rules to reading.  One is to always finish a book you have started.  If it is bad, at least give yourself knowledge of the whole thing to write a better negative review of it.  People deserve to know the truth; I’ll take on the pain, so others do not have to!  Another rule is to read every hyped up book.  Why?  If it is popular, I consider that there must be a reason.  And I’m nosey.  I must investigate.  A more infrequent rule is to pick up a book simply on the strength of its cover every now and again.  Armed with these rules, you just know that the only natural course, is the course to some very bad books.   I list some of my worst experiences here.

The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer (2006-2008)

If you read my book reviews, you’ll know that I reviewed the first book of this series, Twilight, and that I gave it quite a fair review.  It’s enjoyable, I said, but very poor writing with a structure that resembles what China would be like if it were an anarchist establishment.  I smiled at it, gave Meyer a patronising pat on the head, and let the bad literature go.  I just let it go.  As I got further and further into the series, however, my good nature was pushed to its limits and I lost my patience with possibly the worst writer to ever be published.  I thought that, perhaps, she has the mental age of a twelve year old and was called “the fat kid” one too many times during gym class.  There are so many things wrong with this series that I don’t even know how to start.  If you can imagine every bad thing a writer can do to their novel you will pretty much have summed up Stephenie Meyer.  I’m just going to take a deep breath, and list things until I get bored:

Anticipating the Twilight Movie: Twilight Trailers

Fan girls worldwide are getting geared up for the movie adaptation of Stephenie Meyer‘s best selling novel Twilight.  It is the first novel of four of The Twilight Saga and has a fan following of a similar nature to J.K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter series.  With midnight release parties, an author shot into celebrity status, 50 million books sold, and a huge online following, Twilight looks set to become an instant success.

The difference between Twilight‘s success and Harry Potter‘s is that whilst Twilight has a very dedicated following, it contains only teenage girls and young women.  For that reason, the film and the books, will probably never be as big as the inclusive and generally appealing Harry Potter series.  However, a following of young girls and women is probably the best type of the following when trying to hold the public’s attention for a period of time, and teenage girls and their obsessive nature (much in the same way for boy bands and baby faced actors) are sure to be giving their undivided attention when their Edward Cullen graces the big screen.  However, just how long can Twilight last as a movie franchise?  Could it ever be as successful as Harry Potter?  Probably not, and I’ll discuss why.