Bad Sunday: Eragon, Emma Shapplin & Dogs

BAD FILM

Eragon
Well, it is a shit book in the first place, isn’t it?  This little kid writes a book which blatantly includes every popular fantasy thing he has ever read or seen; i.e. Star Wars, Dragons of Pern and Lord of the Rings, but that’s not my problem with this film.  Okay, so the source material lacks imagination, but hey, it has lots of ingredients that could possibly make this an interesting film, but it fails.  It fails at epic proportions.  It has dragons.  That’s the first sign that it should be good.  The dragon saved Reign of Fire, because dragons can save anything.  Because they are FRIGGIN’ AWESOME.  But this film’s badness actually outweighs the awesomeness of the dragon.  I’m telling you, that takes a thick pile of badness for that to be achieved.  Other signs include the genius composer, Patrick Doyle.  Then you have Rachel Weisz, John Malkovich, Djimon Hounsou and Robert Carlyle on the cast billing.  I would love to add Jeremy Irons to that list, but if you ever saw Dungeons and Dragons you’ll be fully aware that he is no safe bet.  Either way, that’s an impressive cast, with an impressive composer.  But it just does not work.  It’s so bad you want to cry tears of blood.  You want to know what went wrong?  Everything.  Just everything.  They cast a lead that could not act, the dialogue is incredibly painful and there. is. no. fuck. ing. story.  What is WRONG with film makers these days?  Why is everything so anti-plot?  NO.  None of this anti-plot nonsense.  Put it back in, for christ’s sake!  Imbeciles!

BAD MUSICIAN

Emma Shapplin
I am fed up with this woman.  Fed up with waiting, that is.  What. the. fuck.  When was your last album, mademoiselle?  2002?  No, really?  2002?  Yes, Madam Shapplin, you have not been doing your job for six years.  You can’t make absolutely fantastic, creative and beautiful albums, just to go silent for over half a decade, tu chienne!  What are the legal working hours in France?  You’re a great composer and singer, but you’re not a great worker, are you?!  Eh?!  Femme paresseux!

BAD PEOPLE

Irresponsible Dog Owners
If you have a dog, you should at least do two things, at the very least.  Your dog should have a collar and you should not let it wonder out on its own.  Is that so hard?  Is that so much to ask?  Apparently it is.  I had two stranded dogs stalk me and my dog Luna whilst we were out on one of our walks.  The first stray dog wanted to play, which made walking Luna impossible, and he kept running over and around the busy main road, so he was surely going to get hit.  I had to go back to the nearest house that were occupied by people I knew to get rid of the problem.  This got rid of one of the dogs, but when I started up again, yet another dog with no owner came up to us.  Madness.  He was feet away from getting hit as he merrily crossed the road to check out my very pretty dog.  It’s not that I blame the dogs.  She is pretty, but what the fuck were the owners doing?  It was Boxing Day, but surely it was taking the saying ‘A dog is not just for Christmas‘ far too literally?

Youd walk up and say hello to Luna, too, wouldnt you?

You'd walk up and say "hello" to Luna, too, wouldn't you?

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4 Responses to “Bad Sunday: Eragon, Emma Shapplin & Dogs”

  1. I liked the book.!!!! but didnt like the movie

  2. and What with the FFFFF word lol

  3. ChungChungXavier Says:

    Ha !

    Your dog is cute . :> :> :>

    I always dream of having a Saint Bernard as my pet .

  4. Saint Bernard’s are very gorgeous. The Newfoundland narrowly lost out to the Alaskan Malamute, and so I got Luna. I like large dogs, not those rat type dogs that are the size of my thumb. :/

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